...I just hope it's enough.
Lately I've been stuck at a stand still while the rest of the world moves forward at incredible speeds. It feels like I'm moving with the whole, but in truth I'm not. My goal was to follow my dreams, to strive with everything I had to make them come true. But I haven't. I've allowed myself to stagnate.
Things are coming together nicely. My career is growing exponentially. I've met new people, (and no, it wasn't as bad as I feared it would be). My relationship with my Knight couldn't be better. My children are happy and healthy and smart and beautiful. My health is improving rapidly. Money isn't so tight anymore. Things are looking up. Right?
Unfortunately, no. Not really. I have a growing hole deep inside me, eating me away. My mind refuses to focus on the words I need to write, because they are the wrong words. I see the fantastical around every corner and within every shadow. I was told to let it be, to give it a year. But can I, when the songs grow louder every day?
I was advised to work on my career for the next year, to let the stories rest. And so far I have. The last few days, however, have become increasing difficult to get through. My mind turns away from the web pages, articles, press releases and so on. It yearns to lose itself in the land of make believe. Do I give in, spend the day working on my dreams, or hold strong and fight through the work?
I so want to give in. But I'll push through and work the words to fit the career, until the day comes when I can let the words do as they wish. One day. For now, I'll throw everything to the work and hope it's enough to get me through.
Lately I've been stuck at a stand still while the rest of the world moves forward at incredible speeds. It feels like I'm moving with the whole, but in truth I'm not. My goal was to follow my dreams, to strive with everything I had to make them come true. But I haven't. I've allowed myself to stagnate.
Things are coming together nicely. My career is growing exponentially. I've met new people, (and no, it wasn't as bad as I feared it would be). My relationship with my Knight couldn't be better. My children are happy and healthy and smart and beautiful. My health is improving rapidly. Money isn't so tight anymore. Things are looking up. Right?
Unfortunately, no. Not really. I have a growing hole deep inside me, eating me away. My mind refuses to focus on the words I need to write, because they are the wrong words. I see the fantastical around every corner and within every shadow. I was told to let it be, to give it a year. But can I, when the songs grow louder every day?
I was advised to work on my career for the next year, to let the stories rest. And so far I have. The last few days, however, have become increasing difficult to get through. My mind turns away from the web pages, articles, press releases and so on. It yearns to lose itself in the land of make believe. Do I give in, spend the day working on my dreams, or hold strong and fight through the work?
I so want to give in. But I'll push through and work the words to fit the career, until the day comes when I can let the words do as they wish. One day. For now, I'll throw everything to the work and hope it's enough to get me through.